damsel in rusty armour
today
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visited *loading* times
这两天，人际关系不是很好。特别是工作上。
对于迎面而来的批评，没作回应，只是静静地回避。
因为不知道该说什么，做什么。
不想在没弄清楚自己和对方的想法之前，做任何事情。
Issit bothering me? Probably. Initially at least.
For now, I can at least smile upon it :)
Sigh.
我把整颗心都掏出来了
我毫无保留地告诉他
我所有想法和期待
然后静静等待着他跑掉。
然后他真的跑掉了。
这一次，我终于做对了一件事。
he effectively summed up the ultimatum for what it is
albeit a week too late.
he asked if his understanding is correct,
that it's either all or none.
i cld had just said yes.
i intended to.
but i can't bring myself to.
nevertheless
the outcome is the same
he walked out of my life
nothing.
这不就是
你我最期待的圆满结局吗？
tired. and lost.
unable to take anymore uncertainty,
i issued an ultimatum.
hoping that will drive him out of my life
and put an end to my own neurotic sentiments.
but i m still going nowhere,
i dunno what he make of all these
so, i am taking it as
he doesn't care.
i know, sometimes, we just gotta do the moving on by ourselves
but i really, need that shove.
Strange. Because after all these years, Motime is still the one blog that I never consider shutting. I think it's due to the sense of community.
I gained Xanga True status yesterday. So now I am a Xangan through and true. Haha.
Having the post-CNY blues. Don't feel like working. Feb is a short mth... and my deadline is in 5 days time but I absolutely have no time to do the work.
Sigh.
Cheer up damsie. Life is not just about working.
I suppose it's the anxiety.
Now that the parents don't have an income, i feel very insecure.
CNY Resolution? Same as those i made on New Year 2008.
#1
The same resolution that I made for Year 2008 --
Maintain Work-Life Balance : Be a Legend, ie. reach home before sunset ...
haha!
But of coz that means I have to bring some work home. I hope this occurence will be minimal.
They don't pay me enough for that.
PS: Yeah, I didn't use to think that way in the past. But I am trying to be happier nowadays :)
#2
Complete all that I set out to do.
不要再半途而废了。
I like this one. It's such a simple resolution. But being the fickle-minded gemini I am, i had always have problem following through any personal projects. That's why I never bother.
See if as a self-challenge bah. (Really dunno what made me so adventurous this year .... hmmm.. Perhaps becoz Rats are very timid? That's why the rooster dare to come out and play?)
#3
I really wish to pen more meaningful entries.
I never cease to amaze myself with the crapz I can conjure (-_-"') But at least they are interesting crapz. hee hee ... *sheepish*
Abit hard to be specific on this one. How does one become more interesting? Read more Edward de Bono? Blog lesser? Heee... dowan. i still like to write down my thgts. Am afraid of losing them. Dunno why.
#4
Leave him alone.
this one, very specific le.
how else u want me to put it?
Yah lah. All my resolution very self-focused de. Doesn't mean I don't give a damn about world peace and all. Those are wishes, not resolutions. I do my part, Almighty above do the rest.
zhen 祝大家新年快乐，步步高升，万事如意，浓情蜜意，和家平安，快高长大！
Happy :)
我今年二十六岁，没有不良嗜好，收入稳定，品格还算中上。性情温和，心地善良，样子也不难看。
why is he not into me ne?
我觉得这无关乎矜持，我就是很想你，于是就告诉你了。
Hmmm. But sure everyone will think I am being too ... 随性 again. Aiyerrr... got so complicated anot?
sigh. 好像见一面都很难呢。
算了。大家都有自己的事情要忙呢。不是每个人都和小米虫一样无所事事的。
